getting fit with fibromyalgia, or other chronic pain illnesses

[kashamarie]

hello

I will introduce myself for those of you new here, my name is kasha, I'm 32 yrs young, and I suffer from fibro myself. The reason I am starting this new thread, is that I know that for those of you whom also have fibro, there is such a lack of good info, and advice, that is actually worth anything out there for us.

I am one of the participants that was choosen to participate in the summer slimdown with the magazine. I am so excited to get fit again after being severly ill for the past 2 yrs!

Through my journey, I have learned some things that help a lot to lower symptoms, as well as I have learned how to workout in spite of my illness, so I would like to share it with you. I know that it is not likely that there is a lot of fibro patients on this site, but I'm sure you all know someone with fibro.

I will tell you a secret though, it drives us crazy, when someone who doesn't have fibro, be it, a friend, or family member, who cares, but tries to give us advice, when they really have no understanding of what we go through everyday.; My hope is that when I've finished this, & hopefully it will keep going, and as long as there is people reading it I will keep it up, but my hope is that all of you who know someone with fibro, will print off these pages, and give them to that person, because my biggest wish, is to inspire people, who suffer, a very hopeless disease, and show them that, yes we may live in physical pain, but that we CAN get through it together, & most importantly, you CAN once again have the active lifestyle, that you used to before you got sick!!!! we just have to go about it in a different way is all, and a lot slower!!!

Tonight, I will start, to share with you my particulars, I feel it's important though, for you to know what meds I'm on, and supplememnts.

OH!!! if there is one thing I can offer to those that have a loved one with fibro,, PLEASE heed this advice!!!! this is what we want more than anything from you!

We really need you to be loving, we know it is hard, because you can not see our illness, trust me, we wish you could, that would save us from the guilt and shame that we carry around like a 100lbs weight on our backs. We know that you can never fully understand what it feels like to have this, but please try to be understanding! NO, we do not exagerate our pain! and NO, we are certainly not lazy, well ok, there is lazy people in every group, but for the most part, studies have shown that most people who get fibro, are of the personality, of a go go go , people pleaser, very active, perfectionist people. So when we are sick, we feel like we are stuck in a cage, cause we sit and think about the things that we used to be able to do, and we really want more than anything to be out there doing the things that we used to do, but our body just won't let us!

The scariest part, is that eventhough fibro is not, fatal, most wish it was, to the point that fibromyalgia, has an extremely high suicide rate! this is why I am here, because I really want to put an end to that, and give hope, and inspiration. I have been there, I was suicidle 3 times last year, so I know what it feels like to feel like you are nothing but a burden on everyone around you, and feeling useless, and like you are not worth anything anymore. But !!!!!! I am also, on the other side of that now, and I have gotten past feeling that way, so I KNOW it can happen for you too!

Please I'm begging you all on this site, who know someone with fibro, please please print these pages for them, as they come, because if you love them, you never know what they could really be feeling inside! We have to pull together, and reach out to one another!

ok, lots of love, and gentle hugs, to everyone, I will talk to you later today again kasha marie

[kashamarie]

ok, so lets get going on the strech routine, this is very gentle, and VERY VERY VERY important, for ANYONE with fibro, because it releases, the endorphins, which counteract, the overabundance, of substance p, the neurotransmitting chemical, |I spoke of earlier, that sends the danger pain sending signals to our nerve endings. As well, of course, if you keep up the stretching daily, or at the very least, once every 2 days, I GUARANTEE!!!!! Your symptoms, WILL decrease! especially muscles spasms!

So most of my stretches, are done on a balane ball, if you don't have one already, you can find them at walmart even, at a very reasonable cost, but please make sure, that you get the right size for your height, & weight!

So please go ahead, to the next post, I am going to post the stretches, with no other babble, so that you can print it off, & utilize it properly!

[kashamarie]

You can do these, in the morning, and at night before you go to bed, if you are working out in the gym, please incorporate these stretches into, your workout, every half hour { I know that's a lot, but with fibro, this is going to be the secret to your success, and not being down for 3 days after a day in the gym!

So, start by sitting on the ball, find your best posture, with your core pulled in, shoulders relaxed, but back, and you back straight.
Take in a slow deep breath, and as you exhale, bring your chin, to your chest, as you count to 12, with every exhale, make sure, you are releasing any tension, and completly relaxing your neck, when you come to 12 seconds, slowly, bring your head back up.

Now, repeat these steps, this time, touching each ear to your shoulder, or as far, as is comfortable,, DO NOT FORCE anything, if it's hurting, as you strech and count remember to release any tension

Bring botharms straight out from your chest, then interlock your fingers, like your giving someone a hug, and as you exhale curl your back into a hunch, with every exhale stretch further, releasing the tightness, when 12 seconds, are done, very gently, and slowly, bring yourself back to your proper seated posture

Bring one arm above your head, bend your elbow, and if you can place your palm, flat on the base of you neck, and place you other hand on the opposite elbow, make sure that you are not hunching over, as you do this stretch, make sure that you are still holding your proper posture, this is a tricep stretch, your should feel it release. hold 12 sec, on each side.

Now, I want you to curl over your knees, slowly, and place your hands on the floor {still seated on the ball}, if you need to, spread your knees further apart, to really allow yourself, to feel open, and to be able to drop down all the way, you should feel your back releasing, REALLY REALLY try hard with every exhale to release every once of tension and tightness in your back, as you count to 12, then gently and slowly return to seated position

I want you to slide one foot forward, we are going to stretch your hamstring now, if you can't go any further than your seated position, and you already feel a good stretch, than hold it there, but if you can, while engaging you core {tucking your belly button to your spine}, gently with a straight back, lean forward, until, you really feel the stretch, placing both hands on the extended leg, count to 12, then slowly return to seated position, roll back and forth on the ball a few times, and do the other side, and roll again a few times.

This is my FAVORITE stretch! make sure your seated close to something waist level that you can place your hand on for balance, and while in seated posture position, bring your right leg up, and place your right foot on your left knee, so that your right ankle is resting on your left leg, with your left foot flat on the ground, now slowly push with your left foot on the ground, as you roll forward, you will feel the right outer hip stretch, DOESN'T THAT FEEL WONDERFUL!!! hold for 12 sec, than switch sides.

Bring your right foot, out to your far right, so that it's almost like your doing the splits, on your right side, plant your right foot flat on the ground with your toes facing forward, now the same as the last one, roll the ball forward till you feel the groin stretching, hold 12 sec, than switch sides.

lunge strech, on each side, you can place the ball under each thigh, as your stretching for balance, or just put the ball to the side, to lean a hand on for balance, you should really feel the stretch in your hip flexor, up at the very top of your hip, above your quads, hold 12 sec on each side

now put the ball off to the side, and grab a mat if your at the gym, or your carpet at home is fine, on it's own.

bring both feet in front of you, and tuck in your core, bend over your torso over, your legs, make sure to release the tension, as you exhale, DO NOT GRAB YOUR TOES, you can lay your hands on your ankles if it's comfortable, but grabing your toes, causes more pull in your back, than we want, hold 12 sec

keeping feet together, now bring your feet close in to your groin area, only as far as comfortable, place your hands on feet, and curl, down, as far as you comfortably can to your ankles, keep your back as straight as you can, you should feel the stretch in you bum, and lower back, hold 12 sec, then slowly return to seated position.

slide your right leg, all the way out to the side, with the right achilies tendon flat on the ground, place your left hand on the outside of your right thigh, and place your right palm, flat on the ground, beside your right hip, keep your back, straight, and you should feel the stretch on the whole left side of your back, from your scapula, all the way down to your lower back. Hold 12 sec, then switch sides.

Now, I want you to go stand close to the wall, somewhere.

get the ball again, and place it under your right knee, while you are standing on your left leg, gently lean back, as you roll the ball backwards, with your right knee, grab your right ankle, and then stand up straight. This stretch must be done with the proper posture, as to not injure your back. you may find at first, that just having your knee up on the ball, is enough of a stretch on it's own. We are stretching your quadracepts . MAKE SURE your tuck in your core, and that you have not bend your lower back backwards, and actually, instead of stretching from pulling in your ankle, I want you to engage the stretch by pushing out your hip, but again making sure you are tucking in your core, and that your are not pulling your foot to the side, but that it's right behind your bum. hold 12 sec, and switch legs.

Go to the wall, place your right toes up on the wall, tuck in your core, keep your back very straight, and your shoulders back, place your palms, up on the wall, vertical from your shoulders, and bend your elbows, till you feel the stretch in your calf, the further up the wall you place your toes, the harder the stretch, now while your there, I want you, to tilt your hip, to the right, hold 12 sec, then tilt, to the left, hold 12 sec, ond straight on for 12 sec, most people only stretch straight, on, but this stretches, all the different areas of your calf muscle, I learned this at physio.

So, we are now done the stretches, and we are going to do the relaxation technique. |This is SOOOOOOO important for fibro, I used to suffer muscle spasms, that would put me in the hospital, almost every 2 weeks, for the first year, and, when I started the strtches, with this relaxation technique, They only happened then, like every 3 -4 months, you must do this at the beggining, and end of every workout, and also very important, to do it before you go to bed. If your not in the gym yet, than do it, when you get up in the morning, at the end of the stretches, and before you go to bed.


Ok, so grab that mat, or your your carpet at home is fine, {do not do this in your bed though! you must lay on the floor!}

lay down completly flat, if you have a sore lower back, and or neck, than you can place, a fairly flat pillow, under your neck, and or, under your knees for your back.

place your hands way out to the side, and your feet apart, and let your feet, roll out to the side, and just completely, let them go.Close your eyes.

I want you to start by taking 3 really deep slow breaths, in, and out, slow and steady.

Now put your focus down to your feet, picture in your head, that your feet are sinking into the ground, keep breathing, slow, and deep, with every exhale, I want you, to release more and more of the tension in your ankles, until you are sure, that you are not flexing anything in your foot at all.

With your next breath in, I want you to now, bring your focus up, to your lower leg, calf muscle, and knee, do the same thing, with each exhale, release anything that you are holding, or that is tight. feel your calves, sinking down into the floor.

Focus now on your thighs, and hamstrings, again release anything that your holding, with each exhale, keep breathing very deep, and slow, imagine your thighs now sinking down, and down into the ground.

Your hips, and lower back, now, breath, in , and out, your spine being pulled with a tiny string, down into the ground, you may feel your legs, release until the outside of your ankles are flat on the ground as you let go of your hips, just let them go, let all the tightness go, let all the tension go down into the ground, and melt away.

Up, at your chest now, deep breath, slowly in, and as you breath slowly out, let your chest feel the gravity pull it down, and down, relax your spine, and your back completely, let go of everything.

Your arms, let go, and focus from your finger tips all the way up to your shoulders, let go of all the tightness, deep breath in, slowly out,

Your neck, THIS IS THE BEST PART! Now at the top of your shoulders, and your neck really focus on those areas, and let them go, most people, women in particular, we really carry our stress here, so all day, you could be walking around subconciously tightening up your neck, and shrugging up your shoulders, so really let them relax right now, deep,,,, slow,,,, breath,,,, in,,,,,deep ,,,,,slow,,,breath,,,out,

now, up to your head, I want you to first focus, on really letting yout head sink down into the ground, with each breath out,,,,,,let it sink further, and further, now pay attention to your face and scalp, let them droop down to the sides, like a wet washcloth, feel the weight, of your face and scalp, release down to the sides, ,,,,breath,,,,slow,,,and,,,,deep,,,,in,,,,,slow,,, deep,,,breath,,,,,out,,,,and,,,,let,,,,go,,,
ahhhhhhhhh,,,,,,,,,

ok, now slowly, flutter, your eyes open, give yourself a minute or two, to return awake fully,, then slowly roll your whole body onto one side, then curl, back up to sitting,,,,,,,,,,stand up slowwwwwly, well? how do you feel?

I know that this stretch and relaxation, take up some time, but, haven't you always said, that you would try anything, to make your fibro better! well, I guarantee, if you do this twice a day, you will notice a remarkable difference!


Please post comments or any questions you have, and I would really appriciate your feedback, if you use this yourself, or give it to a loved one to use, let me know if it works!

By the way this stretch and relaxation routine, would really benifit anyone, not just fibro patients, but a lot of other illnesses as well, or even if you just have a lot of stress, in your life, this will really help your body, better cope with the stress, and help to release positive endorphins, to fight off, the cortisol, that is released into your body, in times of stress, and we all now that cortisl is responsible for belly fat, as well, as stress is known to be a cause, or contributor, to heart disease, cancers, and plenty of other illnesses, so give it a whirl.

And please let me know how it works for you. Wish I had a web cam. |Then I could record it for you guys, to play, with a soft soothing voice, it works better that way, maybe I will one day soon. Anyways, enjoy, and remember after these strtvhes, and relaxation, drink lots of water, to help flush out those toxins, that we want to get rid of. Lots of hugs kasha

[slfowler1]

Hey Kashamarie,
I don't have fibro, but we have talked a lot about it in my clinical psych program. Its one of those diseases that mystifies everyone, but I am glad to see you have been so strong in dealing with yours and finding proactive ways to help with the symptoms. Just wanted to send some support your way.

[kashamarie]

thankyou so much for that! I really need that right now. so thankyou

[kimanddianna]

Great stretching and relaxation routine Kasha, I'm going to try it!!

[slfowler1]

No problem kashamarie. Let me know how things are going. I wish they could find a cure to help with it, but the good news is people are out there researching it, so maybe with time it will be one of those things that people won't have to struggle so much with.

[Shoshana Pritzker]

Kasha, I know this thread over time will draw more women who can relate. Keep it up girl, it's not going unnoticed.

[teiganb]

Fabulous Post Kasha, I am going to send it to my mother in law, she doesnt have fibro, but she suffers a lot of pain from diabetes.
Thanks for that!!

[kashamarie]

Fabulous Post Kasha, I am going to send it to my mother in law, she doesnt have fibro, but she suffers a lot of pain from diabetes.
Thanks for that!!

thats great teigan! I want to help as many people living in chronic pain as I can! I really hope a lot of women on here can all think of someone they know suffering with fibro, or the many other chronic pain diseases out there! and print this out for them. WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD ONE PERSON AT A TIME! And since the medical community is so behind on these issues, and reaserch, that doesn't mean that we just sit back and do nothing! We need to band together, to do what we can because after all, WHAT I AM HERE TO PROVE, WITH THESE POSTS AND PERSONALLY BEING IN THE SUMMER SLIMDOWN, IS THAT EVERYONE IN THIS WORLD DESERVES TO BE AS HEALTHY AS THEY CAN BE!

And it's so funny, as women, at the very beggining, of a journey, to losing weight, or becoming fit, we almost have this intimidation factor, like we have to be fit, already to become a part of the fitness society! isn't that warped, or like because, I am ill, means that I can't be a fit person! that's so wrong!

Thankyou ladies for doing your part, and spreading this around to your loved ones, and hey, maybe in the meantime, I can make some women, who would never dream, of joining a site like this, feel inspired enough to know that they do DESERVE to be fit and healthy, despite their illnesses!!!! luvs kasha

[kashamarie]

Great stretching and relaxation routine Kasha, I'm going to try it!!

I'm so glad your going to give it a try, it is amazing!!! And I truly believe that it can only improve anyones life, not to mention, if you have a lot of stress, this will really help with that!

I don't know about you, but I am still having problems getting rid of that last layer of belly flab, and so hopefully, doing these tecniques, will help lower the cortisol levels,,, but I really hope it helps you!

It makes me so happy to be able to know, that maybe I can help someone else!

[kashamarie]

hello all, well it's been a pretty rough weekend, for me, my pain levels, were really high, because my stress levels were really high. Did you all know that divorce rates are really high in fibro patients. I never ever imagined that I would be getting divorced, my husband "appeared" to be a supporting loving husband when I first became ill, though his behavior and actions towards me became abusive. So much so, that I had to move out of our home, after becoming suicidle, because I felt completly worthless, and like a burden on him, because I was, ill, eventhough, I still did everyhting I could do when I was feeling ok, but it just wasn't enough for him. I feel very hurt, and betrayed! And he has shown me this weekend by his actions, that his loyalty, certainly does not belong to me!!!! He is SOOOO not the man I though I married, I just don't know what to do. When I moved out, my intention was that with living seperatly, we could focus more in a positive way, working on our marriage, and really trying to save it, however, he has shown, that this is not his intention. My family all say that he is probly never going to change, and that I would be better off without him. But it is very hard for me to except that he is never going to change.
Anyways, I hope you all had a great weekend! Did any of you try the relaxation tecnique, or the stretching routine yet??????? please let me know what you thought of it, or if it helped someone that you gave it to?

have a great day kasha

[kashamarie]

So Everyone! I found something SOOOOOOO cool this week, I was at the grocery store, and I found this book, called "cooking for fibromyalgia"!!! Never seen anything like this before! There is a lot of great, info, in this book, I will post some great recipies, but as well, there is great & relavant info, on foods to avoid, as well, as foods that have a history of improving symptoms!

One thing that they really try to educate on, is that white flour, actually increases pain, because the white flour, causes an inflamatory response in our bodies, therefore almost any inflamatory disease, would be effected by this, so STAY AWAY FROM WHITE FLOUR, not just bread, but pasta, wraps, baked things like muffins, anything that has flour, that is white. If you eat a lot of it, than chances are, you have a lot of room, to lower your pain levels, if you cut it out all together! tomm, I will post some more info, and a few great recipies!!!! gentle hugs for all of you kasha

[kashamarie]

Hi ladies!

please keep checking in here, with new info! And PLEASE if anyone has tryed any of the stretches, or found any help with the advice I have posted, please let me know how it turned out for you! If anyone has any advice to add, please feel free to add anything!

[kashamarie]

Today I am starting to post Daily recipes, out of this wonderful new book I got called The Fibromyalgia Cookbook

First I will list the "Basic Guidelines" that they reccomend for your food choices, to better your symptoms

WATER: Water helps to rid the body of toxins, helps digestion, skin tone, brain function, and a whole host of other benifits. I don't think I have to sell any of you on drinking water, and it's health benifits, but, I DO have to tell you, that since I started drinking about 120 onces a day, my symptoms, deffinatly improved. Any of you with fibro know that we incure many digestive problems, such as the famous, and very painful, and LOL, inconvienient circumstances, it causes LOL{especially you know when you are out with someone that you don't know THAT well, you eat something that isn't too safe, because it looks sooo good, and sure enough LOL, for the rest of the night, you struggle with horrible cramps, gas, and the favorite, , , diahrreah {know thats wrong}. This is so embarrasing!

Once I started drinking all that water, I have to tell you that combined with the food restrictions {I know you don't want to hear that, but trust me, it is so worth it, to be normal!} , as well, as excersise, I GARANTEE, if you follow my recommendations, you will be sooooooooo much happier, not only, will you notice an improvement, in your digestive tract, but, also your pain level WILL go down, {add as well, my stretch routine, and a slowly progressive excersize regimine, and the food choices I will share, I SERIOUSLY GUARANTEE!!!!!! you WILL get so much better!!!!!!!


So, our first thing is to share the food restriction, and musts!
No RED MEAT

Before I got this book, I noticed about 6 months ago, that evertime, I ate red meat, I was getting sick with diarreah, and horrible cramps, that sometimes would last 2 days! So 5 months ago, I stopped eating red meat, which was SOOOOOO hard for me! But once I felt the difference, It was AMAZING!!! My pain levels went down, my fatigue REALLY slowed down, and of course, I wasn't getting sick anymore! As well I noticed this energetic, less bloated, feeling, it is great! {I still eat a burger, like once a month, because I LOVE hamburger}. The cool thing is that, when I got this book, One of the first reccomendations, is NO RED MEAT! CRAZY ! please give it a try.

NO WHITE FLOUR

The reason for this, is because white flour, invokes a inflamatory response in the body, and we all know that inflammation causes pain

No processed foods
I don't really need to explain why this is bad for you , but all the chemicals, and starches, and white flour, refined sugars, as well as anything fried!!!! they all increase pain, fatigue, and of course IBS symptoms

Caffine, also increases pain, fatigue , but I still have not been able to give up my daily coffee


ok, so later today, I will post the must eats, and the first recipe!!!!!!! have a great afternoon everyone!!!

gentle hugs to you all!!!!!

[kashamarie]

Today I will post our first recipe:

I will only post recipes from this book, that along with helping our symtoms, anyone on this site is also concerned with getting fit, and healthy, so I will not be posting any of the recipes, that will be heavy in fat, carbs, sodium, or anything else that will damage our progress.

I choose this first one, because I have found that with fibro, when excersizing, we need to feed our bodies even more protien than others after, exsersise, because as we know it helps our tissue recover after tears in the muscle fiber, as well, I really believe that between water, and protien, this can help fight off the over abundance of the substance P, {the neurotransmitting chemical that sends the danger pain signals from the brain stem, to the nerve endings of our muscles} If you don't know what I am talking about, please scroll up, and read this thread from the beggining, to better understand what fibromyalgia is. this will help our bodies to not go into the pain, and fatigue cycle that our system wants to throw itself into after our workouts {fight or flight response}

This recipe is a perfect dinner, after a day at the gym, or even 2 scewers as a recovery snack {as long as you eat it within the first 45 min after your workout}

Shrimp has 20 gr of protien per serving, so that is a great number, especially for a food, that is so easy to prepare, reasonably priced, and low or no fat, sodium {except for the natural sodium that exists in salt water}. As well the calories are great!

CURRIED SHRIMP SCEWERS {this recipe needs to marinate in the fridge overnight}

1 pound of lrg frozen shrimp {scroll to very bottom of this post on advice for choosing your shrimp}

3 tsp extra virgin olive oil

1 tsp of curry paste {your choice from mild to hot}

1/4 cup of finely chopped cilantro {if you do not like cilantro/ replace with basil}

6 grilling scewers

Place your frozen shrimp into a colander, and run under cold water, for 5 min or until thawed

peel, and devein your shrimp

pat shrimp dry with paper towel

combine the oil and curry paste in a bowl cover and refridgerate overnite

preheat oven or grill to 375 degrees.

place 4 shrimp onto each scewer

place scewers on a cookie sheet, or on a rotiserrie attachment on your grill, or a sheet of foil on the grill

bake 5 min than turn cook another 5 min until pink

tranfer to a srving tray, than spinkle the fresh cilantro, or basil, and serve

I hope you like this recipe, it would also be great served over a fresh salad as a dinner, or lunch, or a small serving of whole grain {remember no white flour, } pasta, tossed in 1 tsp of extra vigin olive oil .



ENJOY! with luv an gentle hugs KASHA

[kashamarie]

So, when going to buy your shrimp, there are different varieties. We want the shrimp that is frozen, and in the frozen state this shrimp will be a drk grey colour. This means that it is raw, we want raw. Next, you will se numbers on the bottom corner of the bag. This number tells you how many average shrimp per bag, so the lower the number, the bigger the shrimp, and the less will be in the bag, and vice versa, for thi recipe, you want a lower number, bigger shrimp.

[kashamarie]

Well, it's been a pretty rough week for me, I guess eventhough, this ma not have to do directly with "getting fit with fibro", I know that if there are any of you going through the same circumstances, that it will deffinately be nice to hear that someone else is going through the same thing. As well, our emotional health, has just as much to do with our physical health, as getting fit on the outside, {so is getting fit on the inside!}

I'm sure if any of you are farmilar with me at all, you know what is going on with my marriage. However, I will suppose that maybe there are new members out there, who do not yet know me, so I will tell the story in short form, to farmiliarize you. 2 & 1/2 yrs ago, I was working on a dairy farm, when I was crushed and rolled against a steel bar fence by a cow, that is how I ended up with fibromyalgia. My injuries seemed to worsen instead of heal, after months of testing, a specialist did whats called a "Tender point examination", and diagnosed me.

Relief, me fear, and panik that day, as I was glad to finally have an answer, but terrified, as all I had ever read, or heard of this strange disease before, was in a book by author and pastor "Henry wright", where he had stated

"Fibromyalia, is a complex chronic pain disease". "Quite frankly, I will say that I feel terribly sorry for anyone who has this, because I consider it to be the worst thing in the world to have." "there is no cure, and eventhough it is not fatal, most patients wish it was, as they suffer in extreme pain, the suicide rate, in patients is extremely high."

Ok, so with that being my only encounter, I'm sure you can imagine, how terrified I was! All the while my husband, seemed to be somewhat caring, but never asked any questions, about it, or tried to find out anything about it. I would later even try to coherse him into reading, a paragraph or 2 out of the mountain of research & books, I had compiled on the topic. LOL, I'm a bit of a research freak, but anyone else would probly do the same, faced in a simalar situation. But he would'nt read any of it, would not even focus his attention off the TV long enough for me to read stuff to him out loud. Now, I realize that at that stage {just after my dianosis, but after a year of suffering and others calling me crazy, or exagerating as most tests always came back negative}, this wanting to read and share with him, was partly wanting him to care, but mostly {and this is where you ladies are going to want to smack me}. Mostly, I felt soooooo guilty for so long that I wasn't living up to the over acheiver / people pleasing, full time hard working/ perfect homemaker wife roll, that I had struggled so hard to keep up to before the injury!

Like who can live up to all that anyways right?

You know, there is something that very few people ever talk about with illness, and what comes with it. At least I never knew about it, before I got sick. I'm not sure if it is a woman thing {because we never think we are quite good enough, or a personality type thing, or just anormal human reaction, but, the guilt that follows becoming ill, is almost as disabling as the illness, not to mention the horrible MOURNING of the life you had, whe faced with a disease that they say there is no cure for! There were so many things that I could not do anymore! And my husband was starting to show, that his main concern was, "Well, ok, your in pain! I get it! but you can't be THAT sick", "And by the way! How is this going to effect me?!" was becoming clear that this was the only concern he had.

Ok , ladies, it is WAY past my bed time, I will have to continue our story tommorow, have a great friday!!!! see you in the morning

[kashamarie]

Anyhow, I am so hurt still by this, it is hard to even put it into words, especially that he said he as well was a christian man, husband. I just don't understand, and probly never ever will, how a man can leave his wife, because she is sick! But I know that there is a very high divorce rate, among fibro patients as well, as suicide rate. I know for sure that there are many others out there that this has
happened to,,,,, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE if you are reading this and you either know someone that has been through this, or you have yourself, PLEASE post a response here, sometimes I feel like no one is reading these posts, cause I don't get much responses, so please let me know, if you are finding any help with these posts, or if a loved one, has fibro, and is not on this site, PLEASE send them the link, or invite them, or even print off anything on this thread and give it to them.


On another topic, LADIES, I'm telling you I have found SOOOO much awsome results out of joining our local pool! Hydrotherapy is truly one of the very best therapies for fibromyalgia! If anyone is interested, in my hydrotherapy routine, or what I do, to get releif there, please let me know, if there is any interest, I will post here for you, what I have found benificial !


Have a great wed tomm, Gentle hugs to you & yours
kasha

[proudUSMCwife]

I know its been a while since anyone has posted in here.... Kasha, your story is very compelling. Myself, I was dx with MS (Multiple Sclerosis) a few years back. I also live with chronic pain and my 100% is like everyone else's 70%. About your husband, well, hang in there, there are great amazing men out there. I'm 28 and have been married for jsut over 10 years now. We have 2 school age children and I am a homemaker. We are also Christians, more conservative, where he works and I stay home to take care of the home.... there are a lot of days where I'm in pain and so uncomfortable and don't know if I'm dying or whats going on, and he's always there to take care of me and everything.... I always feel so guilty about how much he does, even though it's not my fault, its the illness that I really really really wish i didn't have. So I totally understand the guilty part, though it is totally unnecessary. Anyways, I just wanted to say dont give up home, there are REAL good men out there.

Working out does totally help with some symptoms, its just sooooo frustrating when you can't workout but you really want to. So if you are still out there, let us know how you are doing!!!!! God Bless, Kristy